Debbie Schlussel

Do you love Ronald Reagan? What about faulty logic and a certain stubborn charm that just screams "ASSHOLE"? Well what about blind neoconservatism? If you said "yes" to any of these questions then boy do I have a reviewer for you!

Debbie Schlussel is apparently "VRWC's latest and greatest sexy, blonde, and beautiful commentator." (Hey, 1/3 isn't so bad! Well, she might dye her hair...) I know this is true because it says so on the front page of her fan club. And apparently she had so many fans that she had to make herself a fan club TWICE! It's always wonderful to see a reviewer that is humble enough to limit their number of fan clubs to a nice, conservative two yahoo groups.

Of course, the real question to ask here is "Does she really deserve two fan clubs?" Well let's find out.

One of the things that will probably stand out to you fairly quickly on her little corner of the internet is her review system. Instead of reviewing movies on a number system she has decided to go the "Fucking stupid route" by grading on a Ronald Reagan/Karl Marx scale. This is obviously meant to be a Evil vs. Good scale whereas Ronald Reagan is at the level of say Jesus, while Karl Marx would fall somewhere around the level of Delgo. And believe me, that is evil.

Now, if you haven't guessed what kind of reviewer she is yet, well...let me help make it rediciously obvious for you. She is a paranoid bigoted neoconservative. And she also appears to be a twelve year old girl. And yes, she finds movies like "Twilight" entertaining, while movies like The Class are insulted for being too boring. And apparently, too humanitarian.

A French public school teacher loses control of his classroom, as Muslim troublemakers--both Black and White--from North Africa act up and exalt their ignorance upon the rest of the class. It was written by the real-life teacher and stars his real-life students, based on their real-life experience. We see how most of these students' parents can't speak French and are complete unabsorbed into their population. Some of them get deported, and the idiotically liberal teachers feel bad for these aliens and take up collections for them.

Yes. How dare those children from diverse cultures and backgrounds Muslim troublemakers have trouble assimilating in school! And how dare the kind liberal teacher try and help students who get deported! Gee Debbie you sure are smart!

But it's not enough to be ignorant in her reviews, she has to be ignorant in responding to comments too! (And in capslock!)

From a poster on her Watchmen review:

debbie,

for one who says she used to collect comics, to not know about watchmen, is pretty much blasphemy. so turn in your geek card and step off.

oh...and surprise...this is supposed to be a vision of an alternate united states, where instead of comic book heroes, they are real people. get it?

in this alternate universe, we win in vietnam, nixon gets to keep running, we have electric cars...and there is no detente because superman is real and he is american....get it?

Her response on the 'Watchmen' review:
[UJM: HUH? I NEVER SAID I COLLECT COMIC BOOKS TO KNOW ABOUT "THE WATCHMEN." I KNOW YOU READ THAT ON IMDB AND ARE REPEATING WHATEVER THE DUMMIES LIKE YOU ARE TELLING YOU THERE, BUT I NEVER SAID THAT. WOW, SO IF PEOPLE ARE REAL--AS IN REAL VIOLENT--AND THEY CHANGE HISTORICAL EVENTS DELIBERATELY, THEN THAT MAKES IT REAL COOL AND HIGHBROW. THANKS FOR THE TIP. AND THANKS FOR EDUCATING ME THAT RAPE AND GRISLY VIOLENCE IS HIGH CULTURE THAT I DON'T "GET." GO TELL IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE FILM CLASS OR G.E.D. SCHOOL. IT MIGHT FLY THERE. FYI, MEIN KAMPF IS A VISION OF AN ALTERNATE WORLD. MAYBE WE SHOULD WORSHIP THAT, TOO, AIRHEAD. DS]

She sure showed him! Damn his communist "alternate history" Obamessiah liberal pedophile plot tools! Also; can anyone say "Godwin's Law"?

She also has a serious problem with people attacking her stupidity, so much so that she even feels the need to devote an entire blog update just to attack people who disagree with her. And once again she decides it fitting to invoke Godwin's Law, because apparently if you compare things you don't like to Hitler, you automatically win!

Poor Hitler. If only he'd made Mein Kampf into a comic book instead of an actual written screed. Then, the ovens of Auschwitz and the human lampshades would be all the rage and cool of kitsch. Silly me, for not understanding that close-ups of sawing off someone's arms and dogs chowing down on a six-year-old girl are so much high culture because they were in a comic book first. Idiocy.

Boy she really does seem to like talking about Mein Kampf. I wonder what that's about. And besides, we already have a graphic novel based on the holocaust and it is quite well written and celebrated, but she wouldn't know that because comic books are for dirty Reagan hating commies!

But even with all of this arguing and negative feedback, Debbie is still able to tell it like it is. And she would never sink to the level of a mindless child randomly insulting anyone that disagrees with her. She is a smart, intelligent, beautiful, kind and wonderfu---

And maybe your sister should be fed to dogs and your mother raped and your brother should have his arms sawed off. You know, just to make the point.

..Ewww

Never mind.

So let's review.

Her reviewer traits:
Neoconservative.
Paranoid.
Moral FAMILY VALLUUEESSS
Bigoted.
And lastly: She supports the murder of the families of the people she doesn't agree with.

Rage rating: Heatwave













God I think I need to take a shower after this one....